JERSEY CITY, NJ—Asking lots of questions about all the novel food items and charming rituals, Yahweh, Our Lord God and Creator, reportedly attended His first Shabbat dinner Friday night and was delighted by the experience. “Wow, I can’t believe I’ve never been to one of these before—it’s so interesting!” said the Eternal One, whose intonation of the words “LET THERE BE LIGHT” was heard for miles around when His host asked if He wouldn’t mind turning on the lights in the dining room. “I admit I was a little nervous that I wouldn’t know all the rules, but anytime I wasn’t sure what to do, My friend Dan would whisper in My ear and let Me know. If I’m being honest, I’m not super religious, but I really do appreciate the tradition and ceremony of it all. Plus, I got to wear a yarmulke for the first time, which was neat.” At press time, Shabbat dinner attendees confirmed God was singing “Shalom Aleichem” louder and more enthusiastically than anyone else at the table.